Relationship Counselling

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david

lloyd-hoare

MBACP (Accredited)

Bsc(Hons)

helping you

to help yourself

During a lasting relationship people face many important decisions and turning points. Sometimes couples can’t talk to each other about these problems. Meeting with a counsellor can be a way to open up communications again thorough better understand of the underlying issues.

Whether you come with your partner or alone, whether you are gay or heterosexual or whether you are married or single I aim to offer a safe and confidential setting in which to explore your difficulties. I also work with people who are ending a marriage or a long term relationship.

Relationship counselling can help people going through this painful process to overcome emotional difficulties and develop the confidence to rebuild their lives. Relationship counselling helps you to make the most of your relationships, past, present or future. Many people believe that relationship counselling is only there to help with the major crises in people’s relationships.

In relationship counselling (marriage guidance counselling, relationship counselling or pre marriage counselling) the counsellor aims to give you both equal time and attention. This will help you each to get your side of the story across, without interruptions or rows. Marriage counselling or relationship counselling can be very helpful even if your partner does not want to come.

Relationship counselling helps people with their relationships. I can help you to work through problems in current relationships, explore the effects of past relationships or look at how to improve and enrich relationships for the future.

How can couples counselling or relationship counselling help?

Relationship or couples counselling can help you decide what the future might hold for each one of you and for you as a couple. In relationship counselling you are encouraged and supported to:

explain your hopes, dreams, worries and concerns
understand each other better - one of the greatest benefits of couples counselling
manage differences of opinion
improve relationship communication
explore whether there is still hope or whether to end the relationship
talk more and differently to improve marital harmony
learn problem solving techniques
identify your “wants” and needs
identify what is works well in your relationship/marriage – there are always things that you are doing really well!
move on from the disappointments, hurts and anger
move on if it is your decision to end the relationship/marriage
identify your own individual resources and how best to use them
identify your resources as a couple
explore the impact of ending your relationship - positive and negative
heal and move on when you are getting over an affair
learn about differences in male and female brains, outlooks, needs, wants and communication
get to know yourself better

I know that often one of the partners is coming along reluctantly for relationship counselling; I will make every effort to help that person feel at ease.

What not to expect from couples or relationship counselling

What you will NOT get in relationship or couples counselling is:

advice to end your relationship, without your having come to that conclusion yourself (though your counsellor will discuss your options with you, particularly if you are in an abusive relationship)
an opinion on your partner/wife/husband in terms of ‘good’ or ‘bad’
destructive criticism about behaviours/actions/opinions
hope that your counsellor can change your partner

Who will benefit from Relationship Counselling?

Any couple who would like to get on better may find this service helpful. Many couples will have worries at different points in their relationship. Sometimes conflict will simply arise from tensions between partners. At other times concerns may occur because of unexpected feelings following particular life events, or because the couple is faced with an unforeseen crisis. Some couples feel they are "growing apart" and one or both of the partners may wonder if love has "died". In some relationships there may be a power imbalance where one of the couple feels a little controlled. Other couples find it's just too difficult to communicate with each other. These are just some of the potential difficulties a couple may experience and there are of course many others. However, couples can often feel that their problems are not serious enough to seek professional help, yet the evidence shows that the sooner such difficulties are addressed, the happier you may be.

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